I love maths, and I flipping love jokes and puns, so when you put the two together, I am in heaven. Here you will find a collection of my favourite maths jokes and puns. If you know of a particular maths joke or pun that would fit in like a glove in this collection, please tweet me mrbartonmaths , and I will give you a shout-out next to your contribution. I’ve also included links to some mathematically inspired gifts available on Amazon. If you purchase these by clicking on the links, I will be eternally grateful as it will send a few pennies my way. Thanks to the wonderful work of jokes4us. New York CNN. At John F. Kennedy International Airport today, a Caucasian male later discovered to be a high school mathematics teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a compass, a protractor and a graphical calculator.

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Online dating doesn’t have to be all serious business. Show off your personality and capture that special someone’s attention from the first chat with a little humor like these funny one-liners and ice breaker jokes. Since you’re getting to know each other, and mostly communicating through dating websites, apps, chat rooms, and text messages why not tailor your opening line to these unique circumstances?

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Ware is a beautiful, picturesque town, full of rich history that makes it one of the most desirable places to live in the entire country. There is no doubt you’ve heard this banger of a joke before and we appreciate it’s probably not that funny. Besides having to put up with people who try to catch you out because of where you live Ware?

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By Martha Cliff for MailOnline. With Tinder hosting thousands of dating profiles it can be hard to stand out from the crowd – however, these singletons are guaranteed to get noticed. A hilarious gallery of images shared online showcases the very wittiest and occasionally very creepy profiles daters have come across in their search for love. When it comes to potential partners many single women have made it very clear what they are after in a man with one admitting she is simply hoping for some ‘free Chipotle’.

In other instances daters are keen to reveal their intentions from the start with one woman admitting she plans to take her partner’s place in their family meanwhile another man has a very specific selection process to find his ‘warrior bride’. Those who do encourage users to swipe right are then tasked with firing up a conversation which, as these photos prove, is not always an easy feat.

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The pun , also called paronomasia , is a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic , homographic , metonymic , or figurative language. A pun differs from a malapropism in that a malapropism is an incorrect variation on a correct expression, while a pun involves expressions with multiple correct or fairly reasonable interpretations.

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From classic ‘why did the chicken cross the road? Why chickens? Plus, there’s no shortage of funny names for chickens either, making them ideal joke fodder. With 25 billion chickens in the world, there are also a lot of them about…. Have a look at our list and think up your own chicken puns, if you dare! Why did the chicken disappoint his mother at school? He wasn’t all he was cracked up to be. Why does the chicken coop have two doors?

Because if it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan. Nothing beats an egg-cellent one-liner so impress your audience by cracking one of these zingers! Have you heard the one about the hen who could only lay eggs in winter? She was no spring chicken. I just opened a dating site for chickens.

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